January 30th, 2011
Why did I put a question mark next to comfort food? Well, comfort is what you make of it, and sometimes, comfort can be disgusting.
Before I started cooking, I would take whatever snack combination I could find and call that dinner. Don't get me wrong, my wife used to cook for me on a regular basis, and her food is delicious. But being a member of the retail establishment called college textbooks, it sometimes makes it hard for her to come home and prepare an Ecuadorian delight without us eating at 11 pm. So, before I made the decision to seize spatula and pan, I used to come up with some snacks that were not part of the dietary general. These little food bombs are still part of my diet, but on a much, much more limited basis. I thought I would share with you some of the food, I used to partake in 1. not knowing how bad it was and, 2. knowing full well, but not caring.
Peanut Butter and Mayonnaise Out of the Jar - Chocolate be damned. I say take that spoon and delve it into a jar of PB and then dip that peanut laden utensil into a vessel of creamy cholesterol (you will find, that mayo is my Achilles heel, and I use it like some use duct tape). Now, my mom was not much of a cook. Waiting for her to come home after work and cook me meals was not something I could do without a snack in between, especially after football practice. So, PB is good, mayo is good, therefore I started experimenting - beautiful. I did cut this out of my routine, but every once in awhile, my dog wants a little peanut butter, therefore . . .
Taco Bell - It was as sure as rain in the summer - a night of drinking and a trip to my favorite faux Mexican food establishment, Taco Hell. My preferred late night binge was a bean burrito with sour cream, and as many crunchy tacos as my colon could handle (which back then, was quite a bit). We didn't have any combo lunches pitched by Charles Barkley, or anything with spicy Frito's in it. We just went with the South of the Border basics - cheese, grade D meat, lettuce, beans from a can and a little dollop of dairy. The drive-thru peddler would offer me mild or spicy - and I would say both, because I'd like to think myself a man of variety.
French Fries and (once again) Mayo - It may have seemed weird for John Travolta in "Pulp Fiction," and I really had no idea that this was a "french" thing. I could have told any culture that sticking a hot fried potato stick in a creamy bowl of mayo goodness was right as rain. The thing is, it's versatile as well as delicious. Want a little sweetness? Take some Heinz ketchup and mix. How about a little spice? Grab the spicy mustard and give it a swirl. Put all three in a ramekin and blow your mind. I have cut this out of my diet, but every once in awhile, I get the urge to order the side of mayo with my deli sandwich and wrinkle cut salty fries.
Subway Tuna Sub - Tuna fish seems healthy, it's fish for crying out loud. However, this particular sub is probably one of the worst fast food items on the market - but boy is it delicious. I'm pretty sure this poor tuna was hacked and minced, drowned in mayo, pureed for no reason and seasoned with spices not approved by the FDA. Whatever they do to this poor fish, it's delicious, and since at Subway you can add anything you want to your future heart murmur, I say more mayo.
Cheetos with Sour Cream - Right next to mayo in the evil condiment department is sour cream. If for some odd reason I am out of mayo, I can rest easy knowing there is some sour cream in the dairy bin. Cheetos are awesome, because they leave that "cheese" stain in the sour cream tub which makes future Mexican meals seasoned with the dairy. I also like those lime Tostitos, they go good in there as well. I don't eat Cheetos anymore, I have read to many top 10 snack foods that can kill you articles and Cheetos seems to win every year, like Meryl Streep.
So with all this being said, I decided to make something comforting. A dish I loved as a kid and found in a One Pan Recipe Magazine done by Better Homes and Gardens. This mag is chock full of recipes for one sized pan, a 13 by 9 square pan that is perfect for lasagna, casseroles, etc. So here are the ingredients for this cold evening delight.
Tuna Noodles Casserole
4 Cups of wide Noodles
.25 cup of butter
1 medium onion - chopped
2 stalks of celery - about 1 cup chopped
.25 cup of flour
3 tbs of "pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?" or Dijon mustard
.5 tsp of black pepper and salt
3 cups of milk - I used 2%, trying to watch my girlish figure.
2 12 oz cans of tuna - drained of water
2 Roma tomatoes chopped - I cut out the gooey part of the tomato with the seeds.
Topping of choice - the recipes called for crushed potato chips, I went with Panko.
Turn the oven on to 375 degrees and get that puppy going. You also want to take the pre-mentioned pan and Pam it so the tuna goodness doesn't stick. Cook the pasta, drain, then return it to the pan you cooked it in.
Now lets make the sauce. In a large saucepan melt the butter over medium heat. You are going to sweat the onions and celery until they are soft. Remember, they are going to cook in the oven for a bit, so don't overcook them. If you are using white onion, you can tell they are about done when they start to become translucent, or in layman's terms, clearish. Dump the flour, Poupon, pepper and salt in there, then stir in the milk until it becomes thick. This will happen when it begins to boil. You want to use a whisk here to get those lumps out, we aren't making dumplings. Once the sauce reaches desired thickness, pour it into the pot with the noodles, add the tuna and tomatoes. Stir up nice and even and pour the whole kit and caboodle in the pre-greased pan. Top the entire thing with Panko and slap that Sorry Charlie goodness in the oven for 20 minutes. Take it out, let it cool, eat the damn thing.
Serve with a nice salad or veggie of choice. This dish makes great leftover, and you can take some sour cream and Cheetos and . . .naw, don't do that.
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