Paella, A Version Of . . .

September 27th I've had a song in my head all day, and I blame the Little Debbie Snack Cake Company. I woke up really early because my dog knew it was my day off, and stumbled to the TV. I switched it on to find The Macarena blaring with the title word replaced by "Little Debbie." Da da da - da da da - da da da - Little Debbie, da da da - da da da - da da da - Little Debbie, etc. It was one of the most horrible things I have ever heard, and of course, it stuck with me the entire day. Not only did I hum that horrible song, but I had the incredible urge to munch on assorted snack cakes (this part not being all that bad, guilty pleasure). I can only imagine the board meeting that made this commercial possible. A gaggle of ad execs wander into their meeting room with lattes in hand, after spending the weekend trying to figure out how to promote an assortment of snack cakes that have been around since the 60s. This group think may have spent many hours pumping out pretty decent ideas, but once the time clock hit 5 pm, they settled on the interns brain bomb of using one of the most annoying songs in the history of music. Don't get me wrong, Little Debbie is an icon of faux chocolate and dreams, but this abomination of ad creativity nearly ruined my day off. Think about it, does a Star Crunch even remotely remind you of a wedding reception? I say NAY, of course it doesn't. Does a nutty bar make you want to dance in a weird choreographed formation with a bunch of other white people who have no rhythm? Again, I must disagree vigorously. So why would this crew of caffeine pumped cake pushers decide that a song from Los del Rios would be the best way to get people to dart out to their local supermarket and spend $1.19 on Zebra Cakes. Well, I'll tell you. Because they knew that once you heard the jingle, you would hum it all damn day, and whether you realized it or not, you would be throwing boxes of this sugary delight into your shopping cart while doing tribal hand gestures ala David Byrne. In fact, this paella has a Swiss Roll topper . . . Paella is a recipe I have wanted to do for some time, and I have avoided it due to the immense amount of ingredients you usually need. I did find a recipe, however, that does not involve me flying to Spain in order to make this delicious. It is considered a mini-paella, a clone-like version of the original with some of the regular ingredients, and a few new ones. Here is what you need. . . 2 Tbs of extra virgin olive oil 1 onion - finely chopped 2 large cloves of garlic - finely chopped .5 lb of chorizo sausage cut into .5 inch cubes 1.5 cups of chicken stock .5 cup of frozen peas .25 cup of drained pimientos - I just used an entire small jar 2 pinches of saffron - use Goya's packets, real saffron is $6.99 a pinch .5 lb of chicken breast cut into 1 inch cubes - I just took one cut. .5 lb of shrimp, peeled, deveined and tail off cut into halves. 1 and 1/3 cup of cous cous 1 plum tomato, seeded and chopped into cubes .25 cup of chopped flat leaf parsley Sounds like a lot, but if you have seen the recipe for a real paella, this is nothing, believe me. Find yourself a large skillet and heat the olive oil over medium heat (make sure this skillet has a tight fitting lid). Throw the onions and garlic in there and let that sizzle for 3-4 minutes, we are just trying to soften them up. Add the chopped chorizo and increase the heat to medium-high and cook it for about 1 minute - no worries, the chorizo is already cooked, you are essentially re-heating it. Now, stir in the chicken stock, peas, pimientos and saffron and bring all of that to a boil, then add the chicken and shrimp and cook for 2 minutes. Once the chicken and shrimp start to whiten a little turn off the heat, add the couscous and cover that puppy for about 5 minutes. Turn the heat back on to medium and cook the whole thing for about 5 minutes more - but make sure it doesn't start to burn on the bottom, should be anywhere from 3-5 minutes. Top it with the parsley and chopped tomato and you are on your way to Espana, or High Springs, depending upon your mental budget. Enjoy the grub and remember - AHHHHHHHH Little Debbie! ayah!