Italian Style White Beans and Asparagus with Meatballs, The Real World

September 30th Before I throw some more food at you, I thought I would prelude the culinary with some random useless thoughts. If you have never read this blog before - you will get used to it . . . like a rash. I have spent a considerable amount of time trashing television advertising in this blog, so I thought I would throw one company a bone. I am really enjoying the AllState commercials featuring the guy who plays different scenarios that might cause insurable accidents. My personal favorite is one where he plays a satellite dish and falls off the roof and lands on a car. In these ads, he has played a lost football QB, an attractive female jogger and a teenager with a cell phone, each one causing havoc on unsuspecting traffic, all the while looking like himself - leading the viewer to use their own imagination. It's that kind of original advertising that gives me hope that someone out there is still thinking about the consumer in terms of entertainment and information. Unfortunately, these are few and far between. Now for an admission of guilt, or as I like to call it - a guilty pleasure. I have to admit, I am somewhat addicted to "The Real World," and all of the associated shows that go with it (challenges with former cast members, reunion shows, etc.). I know that this admission has knocked me down a few notches on the man meter, but for some reason, I am compelled to follow the lives of 7 strangers as they get drunk and deal with assorted personal problems - issues they have no qualls with trying to figure out on national television. I am not sure what kind of person it takes to screen all of these misfits, but apparently, they rip their heart out of their chest and put it in their collective back pockets until they have found people so screwed up as to make excellent TV and editing possibilities. They screen people from all over the world who go to great lengths to prove via video that they are so emotionally scarred, that they deserve to be placed in a major city, in a posh house, to deal with other wacky personalities. Used to be an alcoholic? Excellent! You will be placed with a spoiled socialite who likes Cheerios with vodka and a beer chaser. Gay? Wonderful! We will put you in a house with a closet homophobe, who will admit somewhere in episode 3 that they are from Montana and never seen a gay person before. Like to have sex with assorted barnyard animals? Outstanding! Your roommate will be a vigilante PETA member who likes to spend their spare time chasing whaling boats with a canoe and a garden hose. Put them all in a house, tape them 24 hours a day, and let the mayhem ensue. Do I agree with this blatant form of social exploitation, no. Do I watch it, yes. You know why? Because it's all fake; it's a soap opera, it's not "real." If you think that these people will not be set for cash for the rest of their lives just for one season on this show, then you are crazy. People will do anything for money, and viewers will watch people who are willing to do anything for money. I guarantee there is a person in this country who is willing to admit that they have had sexual relations with sheep, just to get on this show. There is also a demographic of people who will willingly pretend to have no idea that homosexual people exist, just to get on this show. Let's face it - it's a harsh economy and people will do anything for a buck. Look what some people will do for a Klondike bar? I find the "Real World" to be nothing like it's title. Therefore, I find the "Real World" to be fictional viewing. It's obvious that you can't take 7 struggling kids, going to school, working, trying to pay the rent, and make that riveting television. That is real life. All of the participants would have the same thing in common, and if people spent an hour of downtime watching people share your own real-life problems, nobody would tune-in. Plus, everyone in the house would have the same concerns, they would help each other, and even (GASP!) become real friends. That will just not do. Give me these faux misfits and put them all in a house, but even better, give them weapons, and you will have a viewer for life. That was called a rant, I'm always hungry after a rant. . . Here are the ingredients - 1 15 oz can of Great Northern Beans .75 cup of vegetable broth 2 cups chopped plum tomatoes 1 cup chopped carrots 1 tsp dried rosemary (I used fresh, cheaper if you don't have any) 1 lb asparagus chopped into 2 inch pieces, take off the ends salt and pepper to taste 8 oz of cooked linguine As much parmesan cheese as you wish (go nuts, you are worth it) This is a slow cooker recipe, but you can do this is in a dutch oven, just watch your liquids and make sure the beans don't start to burn. Anyway, put the beans, tomatoes, carrots, broth and rosemary in the slow cooker and cook on high for about 3 hours or until the carrots can be pierced with a knife. Taste one - is it good? Done. For the last 30 minutes of this process, add the asparagus - we want a little crunch, but tasty. While this is going on, cook the linguine according to package directions. Drain the pasta, add the slow-cooked combination and top with parmesan cheese. I added some pre-packaged cooked meatballs on top for some extra protein, but it's not necessary. It's pretty rustic and quite tasty. I will catch you next time. Right now I am trying to explain to my webcam how much I can't stand alcohol, soccer, or spicy food and think that anyone who does should spend three months with me while I struggle with my heroin addiction in a ridiculously pre-fabbed house in Argentina. See you on MTV Espanol.